you cant go wrong by loving someone and giving your all but by holding back you will lose everything..

nabasa ko yan sa isang libro. totoo bang walang mali sa pagbibigay ng best and giving your all in loving? kung hindi mali ang giving your best and all, ibig sabihin mali ang holding back? and if you will not hold back, you will not lose everything? bakit sabi sa kanta, too much love will kill you? anu naman kaya ang dahilan bat kasama ang  "holding back" sa pagmamahal? maaari kayang takot kang masaktan? or pwede din naman mas mahal mo ang sarili mo? or pwede din kayang you are unsure kaya you are holding back? paano kung pareho kayung nag ho-hold back, hindi magiging successful ang relationship? at kung pareho naman kayung hindi nagho-hold back, magiging successful kaya? and what do they mean by all? at anu yung all na sinasabi?

second and i had a foundation of friendship before we became officially couple. i thought its a good start but still it ended rough, but mutual. third and i, on the otherhand, didnt start as friends but had a 6-month courtship instead before she said yes, gf mo na ako and still, it ended rough. really really rough. hahaha they say, friendship is the best foundation, but hey, what seems to be the problem? hahahaha

on my first two relationships, i have no one to ask nor to follow footsteps on. hindi kasi ako open sa family ko, lalo na kay first. haha kung baga, diskarte ko lahat. and on third, i told myself, siguro dapat ifollow ko yung mga ginagawa ng mga may years of experiences na sa reationship but still it didnt work. someone once told me that i should consider relationships as individuals i meet on my hospital duties. they are different from each other even with same diagnosis. they are unique. and has different goals to meet.

then, i tried to be open na regarding my relationship with my family. i tried it with second. haha baka may maiba eh. haha my parents liked her and hers liked e as well. there came a time na pinagluluto na ni second si dadi and my dad told second fondly na after us passing the nurse license examination, magpakasal na daw kame non. and yet, it didnt work. hahahaha i was devastated kasi i felt embarrassed kasi nga alam sa both family.

so what to do now? hahaha i guess, everything i have said are only external and non-essential factors for a life-long relationship. for the essentials are within you and the one you want to spend eternity with. so kapag nakita ko na, share ko sa inyo :)